As a Christian father of four children, one of the most anxiety-inducing thoughts that cross my mind all too regularly is the raising of my children in such a chaotic world and what that world will be like for them. News shows and articles, US Supreme Court decisions, and regularly listening to Al Mohler’s staple podcast The Briefing can make any parent fear for the raising of their children with all that is going on. Then comes the question of what do I do? How do I raise my kids? What do I teach them? How do I prepare them? The list of questions goes on. Unfortunately, there really is no silver bullet of an answer. There is no response to these questions that will give you perfect peace. There is, however, a peace that you can find when you yourself rest in your faith in Christ (Isaiah 26:3).
Christ is the answer. I cannot stand how cliché that Sunday School answer is to such an issue that we, as believers, face in times such as this. But, it truly is. Christ, the Gospel, the Person and the Work of Jesus Christ, and the appropriation of the benefits of that work by faith and faith alone, as R. C. Sproul would say. But the next big hurdle is how to apply that, or, as Paul wrote, how to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Phil. 3:12). There are many answers that can be proposed and one of the most prevalent in today’s day and age is homeschooling. Now, don’t get me wrong here, I am a major proponent of homeschooling. Up until this school year, the fall of 2022, my oldest children were always homeschooled. Now, like many believers, we are in a position in which we cannot continue homeschooling our children.
A passion of mine has always been the discipleship of children, of families, of younger unbelievers. When we look at society, and all too often when Christian parents look at church, they all too often think that one to three hours of church is going to counterbalance 35+ hours of literal indoctrination within our public school systems, nevermind the amount of time spent on social media and other online platforms. When thinking about discipleship as a believing parent, think about this: Everyone is being discipled by something or someone, all the time, whether they and you, realize it.
So, be a proactive discipler…
Psalm 78 tells us that God “established a testimony” and “appointed a law” that “he commanded our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments;” (Psalm 78:5-7). The home, the family, is to be the primary place for Christian discipleship to happen, so when there are competing discipleship processes going on, you must be intentional, because “Noah’s Arky Arky made from Barky Barky” isn’t going to pass muster.
Jonathan Edwards once said, “Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by his rules. And family education and order are some of the chief of the means of grace.”[1] First and foremost, we must be a people of family worship, the act of intentionally worshipping God as a family. I’m not saying you need to have a full-fledged church service regularly in the home, but a gathering to pray, sing, and listen to the reading of the Word are essential and ordinary means of grace allowed us by the God of heaven. We need to apply this means of grace to our lives, and to our families.
Not only must we worship God as a family, but we must also worship God as individuals. We must be, as I’ve heard people say of it, people of the Book, the Book being the Word of God. We must seek first His kingdom (Matthew 6:33), not our own or anyone else’s. God’s kingdom and only His kingdom. If we are going to be discipling our children in the Lord, we must make sure that we are modeling those in our lives persistently and consistently, in the home and outside of the home. If you were out with friends and your child could watch you, as a fly on the wall, what would they see? And remember, God sees (and knows) all!
Sometimes, more than just reading and gathering to worship together is in order. I would encourage parents of children in their teens (pre-teens, too!) to take a night a week and really dig deep in the Word. Discuss current events from a Christian worldview, or even what is going on locally at your child’s school. Listen to a sermon together and discuss, or even take the time to discuss Sunday mornings on Sunday afternoons! Make it a point to really discuss the Scriptures and what they will, and do, look like in the lives of believers.
Lastly, persist. If I were to tell you that I and my family are the models of this ordinary means of grace from God, I would be a liar. I hear the childhood chant “liar liar pants on fire!” going on in the back of my head. I fail. I fall. And, as my pastor once asked me, “Why do we fall, Master Wayne?” To which I replied, “So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” Persist. Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged by failure.
And no matter what happens, follow this advice from Paul to the church in Thessalonica: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ for you.” (1 Thess. 5:16-18).
There are many more pointers that one could give you, books I can recommend, podcasts to listen to, and much more. Before you go down that road, however, I urge you to start with The Book, the Bible, the Word of God, given to us as divinely inspired by God Himself so that we would know how not only to live and to glorify Him but how to train up those around us that they may know Him and set their hope upon Him and Him alone.
[1] Edwards, J. (1974). The works of Jonathan Edwards (Vol. 1, p. ccxlviii). Banner of Truth Trust.